Fingers can speak about your life

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

50/50

Beberapa menit yang lalu gue habis nonton 50/50. Awalnya karena pengen liat Joseph Gordon Levitt, tapi ternyata filmnya sedih banget. Sedih banget? Nggak juga sih, mungkin karena filmnya cukup menggambarkan apa yang terjadi sama diri gue sendiri. Hahaha. Berlebihan banget ya? So.... Filmnya itu tentang Adam yang mengidap tumor ganas which namanya susah banget apa, tapi intinya tumor itu ada di punggung nya. Entah itu tulang ekor, pinggang, atau apapun. Ada scene yang bener-bener mengingatkan gue sama salah satu kejadian nyata di kehidupan gue. Ya, scene ketika dokter menyatakan bahwa si Adam itu mengidap tumor ganas.

" A tumor? Me? Hey, that... That doesn't make any sense, so. I mean, I...I don't smoke, I don't drink, I.... You know? I recycle"

He denied. Yes of course he did that. Sama seperti gue ketika dokter menyatakan bahwa dari hasil USG, ada tumor disalah satu bagian tubuh gue. Though, dokter bilang itu bukan termasuk tumor yang ganas atau kita sebut kanker, tentunya gue ngga bisa menerima itu. Like.... THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!! Reaksi gue dalam hati waktu itu ya sama persis kayak Adam, tapi karena gue bukan bule jadi cukup mata gue aja yang mengeluarkan emosi. Ditambah lagi, salah satu cara menghilangkan si kecil ini dari tubuh gue adalah dengan operasi. Gue jujur suka banget film-film yang potong tubuh kayak SAW, Hostel, dan sebangsa nya. Tapi gue, ngga bisa ngebayangin diri gue di operasi. Dude, that will be the whole long time yang gue sendiri ngga tau gimana akhirnya. Dokter juga bilang kalo gue harus rajin check up, mulai dari yang 3 bulan sekali, 6 bulan sekali sampai 1 tahun sekali. Umur tumor gue ini udah mau satu tahun Januari nanti. Dan gue sangat berharap kalo dia nggak membesar dan jadi anak terbaik di dalam jaringan tubuh gue. Hahaha. Gee, life is too serious that i make fun of it.Check up itu penting, karena dokter bilang bisa jadi ada sel-sel kanker yang tertutup sama tumor ini, gue berdoa semoga hal tersebut nggak ada di dalam tubuh gue.

Di diagnosa punya tumor di dalam tubuh itu ngga sama kayak sakit flu, batuk, panas. Menurut gue itu adalah hal yang sangat serius, dan semenjak itu gue bener-bener coba merubah pola hidup gue terutama makan dan olahraga. Ada sisi baiknya juga, dan gue merasa lebih baik. So, sekarang jelas kenapa gue suka film 50/50 selain Joseph yang main kan? Nonton film apapun yang berkaitan dengan hidup kita sendiri itu bagi gue adalah salah satu terapi termurah dan menghibur. Lo merasa bahwa lo ngga mengalami hal tersebut sendiri, ada orang lain juga. Seberapa buruk hidup lo, lo nggak sendirian itu yang terpenting.

Salah satu yang cukup menarik dan sama adalah ketika si Adam ini dikasih tau sahabatnya kalo pacar nya dia selingkuh. MAN, HE HAS CANCER!!! :( Hampir sama seperti cerita gue yang tiba-tiba..........................xxxxx Hahaha cukup sampai alfabet X aja deh ya.

Oh ya, satu hal lagi! GUE SANGAT AMAT BANGET BENCI SAMA ORANG YANG NGAKU-NGAKU SAKIT PARAH PADAHAL SEHAT-SEHAT AJA. Huhuhuhu. Tuhan udah kasih lo hidup sehat dan enak kok bisa-bisanya menggunakan situasi dan pura-pura sakit? Kalo bisa, gue mau deh sehat seratus persen dan ngga harus was-was setiap mau tidur dan bangun tidur, setiap tiba-tiba ngerasa nyeri banget dan lo cuma bisa tahan karena ngga ada obatnya. Bersyukurlah dikasih sehat, sakit bukan lah alat yang lo bisa gunakan untuk mendapatkan perhatian. Jika lo mau mendapat perhatian, berikan perhatian yang proper! Bukan mengada-ada. Haaaaaaaaaa baiklah, itu aja. Hahahaha.

I GIVE 50/50 238947128347192741234 STARS CAUSE THAT MOVIE WAS GOOD PLUS JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT.........YOU'RE DA BOMB!!!
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Monday, June 30, 2014

We gotta be strong!

I just watched a beautiful movie, The Fault In Our Stars. I was crying during that time. Briefly, it was about two cancer survivors fell in love to each other, and support each other until they died. This, somehow reminds me, about one year ago when the doctor diagnosed me of having tumor. That time, i felt so sad and on my way home i couldn't stop crying. It's still benign actually, doctor said it's okay, but who the hell wish to have this living thing inside their bodies? Me? I never wished for it. We never know where this thing will end. Stay there with that size? Or maybe growing? I'm praying it will not hurt me more. Seriously, it's just benign tumor. I'm gonna be okay. Well then, why did i talk about movie? It's clear that Hazel has cancer, and it was very terrible. I'm afraid that, there will be a chance to get through that. But then, will i ever have my own Augustus? I'm not afraid of any illness, i'm afraid that when i'm sick, there'll be no one who support me sincerely, love me for who i am. That's what makes me sad. And i think, no matter how bad your illness is, you know that your strength, deep within yourself can beat anything which beats you from the outside and inside. We shouldn't be afraid of tumor and cancer. They can make you weak, but they can't stop you to be who you are. Hazel could go to Amsterdam! As long as you can walk, and makes your body and soul strong from the inside, i believe this kind of illness will not do anything bad to you! Even when they did, you know we are going to a better place, we will always be there eventually. I tried to forget that i am now not alone, i have something inside of me, living in my breast and i don't know if it will be hurting more, or it will be there until i die. I'm just grateful that God give me chance to feel the worse feelings in the world, so that i can feel the better, and the best. We will survive, no matter how it takes. 
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Friday, June 20, 2014

20-6

Bulan sudah benar-benar diatas, jelas aku melihat nya. Pasti kamu tahu kalau bulan itu amat sangat jauh, seberapa pun aku menginginkan nya, jelas tidak mungkin aku menggapai. Maaf, aku hanya orang biasa, bukan astronot ataupun ilmuwan. Ketidak mampuan ku untuk menggapai yang jauh adalah hal yang dapat aku maklumi, tapi bagaimana dengan menggapai yang dekat? Kamu dekat, sangat dekat. Terkadang aku merasa bahwa aku memiliki mu lebih dari apa yang sebenarnya. Lebih dari apa yang kamu rasakan. Lalu, aku tersadar bahwa yang menyakitkan adalah ketidak mampuan ku untuk menggapai yang dekat, ketidak mampuan ku untuk membuat mu tahu apa yang aku rasakan. Ketidak mungkinan adalah hal yang mungkin. Seperti apa yang terjadi padaku sekarang. Kadang, aku berharap manusia dapat bekerja seperti mesin komputer. Benar-benar aku ingin menghilangkan semua ini dari hati dan pikiran ku. Yang lebih menyakitkan dari ketidak mampuan ku adalah rasa bahagia yang aku dapatkan dari kehadiran mu. Kenapa aku harus bahagia dengan rasa sakitku sendiri? Berkali-kali aku mencoba meyakinkan diriku bahwa kamu hanya teman, aku tidak pernah menyukai mu. Disaat itu pula aku tahu bahwa aku sendiri yang membuat diri ku jatuh lebih dalam dan itu sangat menyakitkan. Kata jatuh sangat dekat dengan kata bangun, tapi bagaimana aku bangun dalam keadaan terluka? Aku butuh pertolongan. Mungkin ini yang menjadi rasa sedih ku setiap hari. Aku tidak berani untuk merasa senang, aku takut hal itu yang membuat ku menjadi sedih. Tanpa sadar ketakutan ku sendiri telah membawa kesedihan menemani ku. Kamu tidak tahu itu, dan aku tidak mau kamu tahu. Aku cukup dengan menangis, jadi jangan mempertanyakan lagi kesedihanku. Ah, tentu kamu mempertanyakan, aku pun tidak pernah ada niat memberitahu mu. Satu hal, satu yang sangat penting. Berapa pun besarnya keinginan ku untuk menjadi alasan kamu bahagia, itu tidak pernah terjadi. Dan berapa sering pun aku mengatakan cukup lah kamu yang berbahagia, aku tidak akan bahagia. Walaupun begitu, harapan untuk melihatmu bahagia mungkin adalah satu-satunya hal yang masuk akal sekarang. Kadang aku mempertanyakan semua ini pada Tuhan "Kenapa kamu? Kenapa aku suka kamu?" Tuhan tidak menjawab. Aku tahu Tuhan mau aku yang mendapatkan jawaban nya sendiri, walaupun sekarang rasanya tidak sanggup lagi. Aku harus berhenti, sebelum kamu yang membuat aku berhenti. Aku bukan pejuang. Kalau pun aku pejuang, aku sudah hampir mati dan tidak lagi kuat seperti yang lain nya. Seperti kamu yang masih memperjuang kan hatimu untuk orang lain. Aku lelah mencoba. Sekali lagi, maaf aku bukan astronot, ilmuwan, maupun pejuang. Bulan dan kamu rasanya tidak mungkin lagi di gapai. Aku harap kamu dapat melihat bendera putih ini dengan jelas. Maaf. Maaf aku menyukai mu.
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Monday, February 24, 2014

Broken A Little, Sweet Memories and Bright Future

Old times? Something just popped on my mind again. Still, with grammar errors and those grammar nazis will hate but at least i am trying to write up something here. <3 p="">
I am what they called 'broken-home child'. Yeah, it's me. My mom and dad divorced since i was a little girl, when i was eight if i'm not mistaken. Long time ago. That time, i knew that something really bad was happening, but i didn't really sure what it was.. The only thing i knew was, "I will not live with my mom and dad in the same time" which is a bad thing for a little girl like me. I remember clearly, one day.. Me, my sister and my friend tried to hide an envelope (or whatever it was, we thought it had something to do with the divorce) we tried to hide it behind my mom's toilette and hoped that our parents wouldn't need to break up. Until the day came, i was happily playing roller blade in front of our house with my friends then my dad came home, asked me to stop playing and that he wanted to say something to me. We walked to our bedroom and then my daddy said "Me and your mom won't live together anymore, you will live with mom but we can still have sleep overs" I remember it so bad, i was crying. As an eight years old girl, which couldn't really understand things like that, i was crying. I was crying when i was still standing on my roller blades, i was holding onto the wall and wiped my tears away, maybe i tried to be strong or i just didn't understand at all. The only question was "Why?" and it felt really hurt. I didn't really remember what was after that but then we moved to our grandparents' house. Me and my sister, but my brother was still staying with my dad. My little brother was my biggest enemy that time, he was all naughty and mean, maybe because we've been taken care differently. That was hard, i've experienced things like... My dad went missing, and my mom struggled so hard to pay for our school tuition, we lived in slums with a lot of neighbors who gossiped about us, and i was in elementary school that time, my last year. Ah.... I'm writing this and i feel so sad just to remember those times... The smell of the house, the road, the neighbors... It was like a crazy stage in my life. Then when i was reaching Junior High School, we moved again to our grandparents' house. I had better life to be honest, just like the time before we moved to the slums. Reason why we moved to the slums because it was the nearest to my school and we had no money so my mom decided to rent a house there, and our grandparents' house was so far away from my school. I remember my grandma said "You should study hard, prove the world that you can, show your dad that you could be smart even though you're not living with him" and by that, i was studying hard all day. Even, i was having a bit hard time in school too, not a lot of Junior High School friends which still in contact now...or even that time haha. Ah... my past, bittersweet. I always got good marks, yeah, i was a smarty gal that time! But leaving Junior High School, knowing lots of High School friends, my life changed. I played a lot so i wasn't that smart anymore but average....haha. That was actually a highlight of my past life that i suddenly remember this late night. I'm still crying if i remember those hard times, and really grateful for having a life like i'm living today. I believe that God will not let us suffer too long, God will always help. And actually i, as a child of humans, i really want to live in a complete family. A dad, mom, living in the same house with me, having some weekend hang outs together, stuff family do. But i can't. I'm 20 years old, and i experienced family outing only 8 years, and that's okay for me. I might be more lucky than someone else, i will just thank God for what i have. And... being a broken home child is not something that you can always relate to negativity. I'm highly against that cause me, and lots of broken home children out there are shining in our ways, in a good way. Even when our 'home' broken, we still have heart. And our heart is a home to our soul and to our life, use that well! Cause no matter what, we still the children of our parents, separated or not.


That was me.


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Monday, October 7, 2013

[Review] Kuliah Observasi 011013

Seperti beberapa minggu belakangan ini, kami masih membahas jurnal-jurnal dan mempresentasikan nya dikelas. Dan berikut rangkuman analisa jurnal dari dua kelompok terakhir.

1. Efektivitas Metode Bermain Peran (Role Play) untuk Meningkatkan Keterampilan Komunikasi Pada Anak

Rumusan Masalah: Apakah ada perbedaan keterampilan komunikasi pada anak yang diberikan perlakuan metode bermain peran (role play) dengan anak yang tidak diberikan perlakuan metode bermain peran?

Tujuan Penelitian: Untuk mengetahui efektivitas metode Role Play pada keterampilan komunikasi anak

Subjek Penelitian: 15 Siswa Siswi kelas B PAUD IT Durratul Islam Ngablak Magelang yang memiliki keterampilan komunikasi dibawah rata-rata berdasarkan observasi awal. 8 siswa/siswi dalam kelompok kontrol, dan 7 siswa/siswi dalam kelompok eksperimen.

Metode Penelitian: Child Behaviour Check List (CBCL)

Kelemahan Penelitian: Subjek penelitian, keterbatasan waktu yang dimiliki oleh peneliti sehingga waktu penelitian tidak cukup panjang untuk melihat perubahan-perubahan terhadap eksperimen tersebut, beberapa item yang kurang mewakili keterampilan berkomunikasi.

2. Memperkecil Frekuensi Membolos melalui Konseling Pribadi Diri

Tujuan Penelitian: Untuk mengetahui apakah efektivitas konseling pribadi diri dapat memperkecil frekuensi membolos konseli pada semester ganjil tahun 2009/2010 di SMA Islam Lumajang.

Subjek Penelitian: 5 orang konseli dengan frekuensi membolos masing-masing 14,14,15,10 dan 18 kali.

Metode Penelitian: Observasi dan Wawancara

Hasil Penelitian: Terdapat perbedaan peningkatan yang signifikan pada keterampilan komunikasi antara kelompok siswa yang diberikan metode bermain role play dan kelompok yang tidak diberi metode tersebut. Jadi, metode bermain peran efektif untuk meningkatkan keterampilan komunikasi pada anak.


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Monday, September 30, 2013

[Review] Kuliah Observasi 240913


Berikut adalah judul-judul beserta rangkuman dari hasil analisis jurnal beberapa kelompok yang telah presentasi pada minggu lalu.

Jurnal Kelompok 1

Kartu Motivasi Sebagai Bentuk Dukungan Sosial Dalam Proses Perawatan Pada Anak Kanker Leukemia Limfoblastik Akut (LLA) Yang Diberikan Oleh Orangtua Dan Tinjauan Dari Agama Islam


Rumusan masalah
Bagaimana efektivitas pemberian kartu motivasi sebagai bentuk dukungan sosial orangtua terhadap anak yang sedang menjalani proses perawatan kanker LLA?
Metode penelitian
Penelitian ini menggunakan pendekatan kualitatif studi kasus. Responden yang diambil dalam penelitian berjumlah 5 orang yaitu para orangtua dan dengan anaknya yang terdiagnosa kanker LLA.  Peneliti ini memeilih dan menentukan subjek penelitian dengan cara purposive sampling
Metode pengumpulan data :
Observasi dan wawancara mendalam atau in-depth interview (Chaedar,2002).
Hasil penelitian
Pada penelitian ini kartu motivasi menjadi salah satu komunikasi bagi orang tua kepada anak yang terdiagnosa kanker LLA.
Respon-respon yang muncul : ke 4 subjek penelitian merasa senang. Subjek 1 dan subjek 5 ikut membuat kartu motivasi untuk dirinya sendiri.
Komunikasi antara orang tua dengan subjek bersifat lebih intensif. Komunikasi seperti ini dinyatakan sebagai bentuk komunikasi terapeutik, dimana komunikasi tersebut bersifat penyembuhan.
Pada saat pemberian kartu motivasi terlihat adanya hubungan yang lebih dekat antara subjek dengan orang tuanya, subjek menjadi lebih ceria, gembira dan tidak memikirkan penyakit yang diidapnya.
Pembuatan kartu motivasi sebagai bentuk dukungan sosial dari orang tua kepada anak yang terdiagnosa kanker LLA secara umum menunjukan hasil yang efektif.
Kesimpulan
Dalam tinjauan Islam, dukungan emosional mencakup empati, kasih sayang, dan perhatian terhadap individu selain itu pemberian kartu motivasi hukumnya adalah mubah atau diperbolehkan
Pembuatan kartu motivasi sebagai bentuk dukungan sosial menjadi salah satu bentuk bagian dari terapi ekspresif yang menggunakan suatu proses seni kreatif untuk meningkatkan kesehatan fisik, mental, dan emosional seorang anak, yang merupakan suatu bentuk dari art therapy, dan dapat dinyatkan sebagai bentuk komunikasi terapeutik (penyembuhan).
Kekurangan
Tidak ada penjelasan mengenai mekanisme observasi

Jurnal kelompok 2

Mengurangi Kecemasan Konseli Mengikuti Ujian Nasional Melalui Konseling Kelompok Dengan Strategi Relaksasi

Rumusan Masalah:
Apakah Konseling kelompok dengan relaksasi dapat mengurangi kecemasan konseli pada saat Ujian Nasional?
Tujuan Penelitian
Membantu konseli mengatasi masalah kecemasan menghadapi ujian, juga untuk meningkatkan aktivitas konseli dalam layanan konseling kelompok.
Metode Pengumpulan Data:
Observasi dan angket yang dianalisi secara kualitatif berdasarkan hasil refleksi jawaban positif dari konseli yang mengalami kecemasan.
Sample        
Penelitian ini dilakukan pada konseli kelas IXA SMP Negeri 1 Jatiroto yang mengalami kecemasan sejumlah 12 orang terdiri 4 orang konseli laki-laki dan 8 orang konseli perempuan.
Hasil
Berdasarkan hasil pelaksanaan kegiatan dapat ditarik kesimpulan bahwa konseling kelompok dengan strategi relaksasi dapat membantu konseli mengatasi masalah kecemasan juga dapat meningkatkan aktivitas dalam layanan konseling kelompok.

Jurnal kelompok 4

Sexual Relationships of Elderly Males Who Have Lost Their Spouse

Fenomena
Jepang memiliki latar belakang sosial dan budaya dimana kehidupan seksual lansia dianggap negatif dan tidak dihormati (Backer, 1984; Yoshizawa, 1986).
Alasan penolakan:
-Kesalahpahaman sosial, mengabaikan lansia akibat harapan hidup pendek, dan penolakan nilai sosial mereka karena kecil kemungkinan untuk bereproduksi pernikahan mereka yang baru
- Lansia ditempatkan pada tingkat yg rendah dalam tangga sosial & dianggap tidak kompeten
- Perilaku seksual mereka tersembunyi karena umumnya menganggap bahwa urusan romantis memberikan kesan “playfull”
Rumusan Masalah
- Bagaimana hubungan mesra dengan lawan jenis terbentuk?
- Bagaimana mereka berperilaku dalam kehidupannya?
- Apa makna keberadaan teman lawan jenisnya tersebut?
Tujuan Penelitian
- Penelitian ini bertujuan untuk menunjukan bagaimana laki-laki lansia memperoleh hubungan seksual setelah kehilangan pasangan mereka dan sebagai hasilnya seperti apa hubungan sosial yang mereka capai.
- Untuk mencermati perilaku seksual dan pandangan mereka tentang perilaku seksual tersebut.
Metode Penelitian yang digunakan dalam penelitian ini, yaitu :
- Wawancara semi-terstruktur dengan durasi waktu 2 jam untuk setiap wawancara
- Observasi
Sampel dan tekhnik sampling
        Sample
–      3 orang duda berusia diatas 60 tahun
        Karakteristik
–      Tetap menduda tetapi memiliki hubungan seksual saat ini
–      Subjek tinggal dipinggir kota Tokyo dan kota besar di Osaka
        Teknik sampling
–      Snowball sampling
Hasil
Memiliki pasangan seksual wanita membawa semangat tinggi yang dapat membuat perasaan bahagia kepada lansia.

Jurnal kelompok 6

Pelatihan Regulasi Emosi Untuk Menurunkan Perilaku Agresif Pada Anak

Masalah Penelitian
Apakah pelatihan regulasi emosi dapat menurunkan perilaku agresif pada anak masa sekolah kelas V SD yang berusia 10 tahun?
Metode pengumpulan data
- Penelitian ini menggunakan perilaku agresif anak sekolah sebagai objeknya, maka peneliti melakukan observasi dengan mengamati dan mengukur perilaku agresif anak kelas V SD yang berusia 10 tahun. Perilaku yang akan diamati adalah perilaku agresif fisik dan verbal yang bersifat terbuka atau tampak.
- Observasi perilaku dilakukan pada saat enam hari sebelum pelatihan (tahap A), enam hari sesudah pelatihan (tahap B) dan empat hari pada follow-up.
Sampel
Subjek penelitian berjumlah dua orang siswa  laki-laki sekolah dasar berusia 10 tahun yang berperilaku agresif.
Hasil
Pelatihan regulasi emosi dapat menurunkan perilaku agresif pada subjek penelitian ini, yaitu anak kelas V SD, berusia 10 tahun dan melakukan perilaku agresif fisik (menendang, memukul, merebut paksa, mengganggu atau usil dan mendorong) serta agresif verbal (mengejek, berteriak-teriak, membentak dan berkata kotor/ kasar). Kemampuan anak untuk melakukan regulasi emosi, yaitu menilai, mengatur.
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Monday, September 23, 2013

Something Before Sleep

Almost midnight. Head is already full with a lot of things like... Cross-cultural psychology, journalistic psychology, and experimental in psychology. Plus, i need to finish lot of tasks which.... eung, you know... Who likes it? None? Ha-ha. I might 'like' it. Oh... Yes. Being fake is extremely easy. Well, in a time like this, sometimes there's a part in my brain which is recalling some moments in my life. Looking at lots of people around me. They are perfect, in many aspects. They can talk, spill what's on their mind, understand things well.. Very easy. I do feel jealous and uneasy about that. I mean.. Compare to me... I'm a Silver Queen while they are Godiva. Sometimes i feel useless as a person, what i know is.. I can't do things right. I can't speak my mind, and i can't be like them. Hey, i really wanted to be like them to be honest. Know what to say, know what to do, know their own selves. I tried to be, but in the process, i forgot that i wasn't being me. I tried to be someone else. I wasn't me. Then what's life if everyone's the same? If there's no one like me? What life will be? Now it's that war again, heart and brain can't stop fighting. But okay, can i rely on throat then? Since it's between brain and heart? Hahaha okay i'll stop the lame joke. I need to stop to think that everybody is better than me. Not that i am better than them, but it's all about how to be a better me. Despite the flaws and all, there's a good in me. I need to be me. To be proud of myself that's why i shall stop wanting to be like this or that. Allah created me for a reason, i may complete the world just the way i am. I don't have to be someone else, i guess. I just need a lot of times to be a better person, in many kind of aspects. I will never be perfect, and there will be a time that i want to be someone else again but now i just want to live my life happily. Like everyone else in the world, I was made for a reason.
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Tuesday, September 17, 2013

[Review] Kuliah Observasi 17092013

Hari ini 4 kelompok yang belum maju mempresentasikan hasil analisa jurnal mereka. Judul-judul jurnal tersebut adalah:

1. Penerapan Terapi Realitas Untuk Membantu Coping-Stress pada Wanita Pekerja Seksual dengan HIV Positif.

2. Subjective Well-Being Anak dari Orang Tua yang Bercerai.

3. Gender pada Iklan Televisi dengan Metode Semiotika.

4. Studi Kasus: Dampak Psikososial Enuresis pada Remaja Putri

Dari jurnal-jurnal diatas, kekurangan nya adalah data yang disajikan tidak begitu detail. Untuk itu kelas membahas tentang kekurangan dari jurnal-jurnal tersebut, dan diharapkan analisis jurnal selanjutnya dapat diperbaiki, seperti membahas teori dan juga kritik dari mahasiswa terhadap jurnal pada saat presentasi nanti.

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Dalam penelitian (psikologi), diharapkan peneliti melakukan beberapa hal-hal dibawah ini:

- Carilah terlebih dahulu fenomena (sosial atau individu) dan temukan masalahnya, yang dapat menentukan pengambilan data di lapangan. Fenomena sosial biasanya menggabungkan kuantitatif dan kualitatif. Kualitatif sebagai pendalaman dari penelitian tersebut.

- Bedah fenomena sebelum mencari teori.

- Hubungkan dengan teori psikologi (Psikoanalisa, Behavior, Humanistik)


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Monday, September 16, 2013

[Review] Analisis Jurnal: Seksualitas Remaja Autis Pada Masa Puber oleh Farida Tri Widyasti

Perkembangan seksual pada remaja menjadi perhatian bagi banyak orang namun pengkajian terhadap seksualitas pada remaja autis sangat terbatas. Dalam jurnal ini digambarkan bagaimana seksualitas remaja autis pada masa puber, yang hasil dari penelitian nya didapatkan dari kedua subjek berinisial AH dan VA. Remaja autistik sulit memahami keinginannya, begitu pula memahami dorongan seksual yang terjadi pada mereka. Remaja autistik yang tidak beruntung akan bingung menghadapi perubahan dalam tubuhnya maupun perasaannya. Sementara bagi remaja yang lebih paham dan berpendidikan, ada tambahan kesulitan beradaptasi dengan dunia sosial dimana teman seusia sudah lebih berkembang. Bagi orangtua, banyak kecemasan dan keprihatinan. Anak sudah makin tua, orangtua juga makin tua, sehingga tentu saja, makin lelah (Sicile-Kira, 2006). Berbagai tantangan dihadapi keluarga dengan remaja autistik (Hecimovic dan Gregory, dalam Zager, 2005) antara lain: tidak adanya dukungan dari lingkungan, stres dalam keluarga, masalah keuangan, masalah pendidikan lanjutan, masalah ketersediaan lapangan kerja dan masalah masa depan. Masyarakat menuntut remaja lebih mampu mengatur perilakunya, justru pada saat dimana remaja makin ’sulit diatur’. Bukan saja sulit diatur, kadang perilaku agresif atau ’menyakiti diri sendiri’ meningkat dengan tibanya masa pubertas (Sicile-Kira, 2006). 
Selain itu, dalam penelitian ini, peneliti menggunakan metode triangulasi yaitu wawancara, observasi dan dokumen. Peneliti melakukan wawancara kepada caregiver dari kedua remaja tersebut yaitu orang tua, guru, dan pengasuh. Lalu juga melakukan observasi terhadap mereka meskipun tidak dijabarkan bagaimana proses nya, tempat, dan waktu observasi tersebut dilakukan yang menjadi kekurangan dari jurnal ini. Selain itu peneliti juga melihat dokumen, arsip-arsip dari kedua subjek. Hasil nya, orang tua subjek memiliki persiapan, seperti persiapan mental. Pada subjek kedua, orang tua mengajarkan subjek untuk menggunakan pantyliners, sebelum beralih ke pembalut. Berdasarkan pada analisis informasi, kedua subjek juga memperlihatkan ketertarikan pada lawan jenis saat memasuki usia puber.


referensi:


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Review Kuliah Psikodiagnostik Observasi

Kuliah Selasa tanggal 10 september 2013 lalu berawal dari membahas sedikit tentang pengertian, tujuan dan jenis-jenis observasi, dilanjutkan dengan presentasi dari tiga kelompok pertama mengenai analisis jurnal yang menggunakan metode observasi. Berikut adalah review materi perkuliahan (rangkuman) dan highlight dari presentasi analisis jurnal. 

Observasi: Metode pengumpulan data secara sistematis melalui pengamatan dan pencatatan terhadap objek yang diteliti. Dalam arti sempit, mengamati secara langsung objek yang diteliti baik dalam situasi alamiah maupun buatan. Sedangkan dalam arti luas, mengamati secara tak langsung dengan bantuan alat-alat yang telah disiapkan sebelumnya maupun yang disiapkan khusus untuk keperluan penelitian.

Tujuan Observasi: Mendeskripsikan setting yang dipelajari, aktivitas yang sedang berlangsung, orang-orang yang terlibat di dalam aktivitas tersebut, serta makna kejadian yang dilihat dari sudut pandang mereka yang terlibat dalam kejadian tersebut.

Yang diobservasi: Tujuan yang menjadi target penelitian, ekspresi, respon, perilaku baik secara verbal atau non verbal ketika stimulus muncul. Aspek khusus dari perilaku individu maupun kelompok serta situasi atau proses. Waktu, tempat, gaya bahasa dan penampakan eksterior (seperti cara berjalan).

Jenis-jenis observasi antara lain adalah Observasi Sistematik, Observasi Eksperimental, Observasi Partisipan, Obstrusive dan Unobstrusive, dan Observasi formal dan informal. 

Jurnal-jurnal yang dibahas dari ketiga kelompok tersebut adalah:

1. Seksualitas Remaja Autis Pada Masa Puber

Jurnal ini membahas tentang bagaimana peneliti bertujuan untuk menggambarkan seksualitas pada remaja autis, peneliti tidak memberikan informasi yang cukup detail di dalam jurnal tersebut. 

2. Mangupa Pada Pasangan Pernikahan Pemula dalam Masyarakat Perantau Tapanuli Selatan

Jurnal ini mengangkat tema-tema psikologis yang ada pada tradisi mangupa. 

3. Presentasi Diri dan Desepsi dalam Komunikasi Media Computer Pada Pengguna Internet Relay Chat

Jurnal ini berupaya untuk mengkaji komunikasi antar pengguna komputer disaat mereka tidak berinteraksi secara langsung namun hanya dalam menggunakan kata-kata dalam bentuk chat.

Referensi:



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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

3rd of April, 2013

I can feel my heart get aching every time i breath. There's a lot of voices in my head, shouting about how stupid i am. I can't even contain my tears anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately, i'm not myself. I grow tired every day and everything now seems so dark. My eyes hurt so bad, but for now, i think physical pain is better to feel than what i feel inside. It's somehow hurting me, scratching my skin, pulling my hair, but all of those things are invisible. I can't really see that but i know it's there, hurting me. I punched myself, i bit my skin and those things didn't even hurt me. Not even a bit. I feel more pain inside. I tried to smile and think about good things in mind, but fuck the world i can't even feel that. That's somehow i prefer to sleep at home. Cut off the connections. If only i know what's wrong with me. I really don't know what to do, everything i do is all wrong. Sometimes, i think that i'm better to be disappeared. And people forget me sounds so much better. I really want to feel good. I really want to be happy like everyone feels. I'm tired of crying. I think about accidents, and lot of things. I think about those stressful things and somewhat i hope it's real. Or if can... I want to have another life. People doesn't have to fake their smile in front of me anymore, they can live their life just what they want, and i can live my life the way i want. I had a lot of nightmares lately, and those are really frustrating. Am i depressed? But why? Why am i depressed? If only i know the answer. I know that there are a lot of people more suffered than I, but i also know that not everyone could run the way i do. I'm on the edge of accepting my life the way it is, or just cut it off. I also think that i'll go to hell in the end. Why am i so useless. I know i'm not more than an emotional bitch, and i'm not going to ask people to not judge me for that but screw everything, i don't feel good right now. I don't even know why am i in this place today, and act so sad about everything. But for real i don't act. I just don't know what to do. I can't hide my feeling. I tried to find some help but there won't be any. Because i'm always by myself. No one truly need me, it's all just lie. I'm useless in every bit of my life. People will come to me when they need help only. And that's it. That's my life. And i'm fucking hate it. Close your damn eyes cause i know there won't be a hand and i'm just a freak. I just want to punch myself right on my face. This some kind of goodness should just disappeared in my life. I'm not that good, and i won't be good forever.
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Thursday, January 3, 2013

Chocolate?

Chocolate is sweet. Everyone likes it. It's a friend when you have no one to talk to. A friend to cheer you up. A friend to cry with. You like it so much. You don't even think about the effect after eating it. Maybe you will get fat? Or toothache? But you don't care. And maybe, just some of you who remember where it comes from. What's chocolate.. What's inside it? Have you ever heard cocoa? Or, dark chocolate? I bet you all know about it. Chocolate is actually a modification (to me) from a very bitter fruit to be a very sweet and delicious thing in the world, made by people. And why do i suddenly talk about chocolate? No... I'm not craving about chocolate, i just ate it. The best chocolate in the world, maybe? Don't remember the name and too lazy to see it. Taste so good.. Like.. They added Milo in it but not that strong. Okay.

I just think, chocolate is really like someone i know. Very sweet. I can depend my life on him. But.... I don;t remember, where he came from. Where i met him. When i fell in love with him. And what is INSIDE him. Oh, so bitter you know. From the stories i've written below describe how desperate i am, but not without a reason. I just realized that this person is the same as chocolate. Very sweet, inside out. But i didn't realize the way i met him was totally wrong. I didn't realize who he truly is. If there was an award for sugar-coated man in the world, he will win. I got 24 hours a day and every second all i imagine, hope, and think is "he as chocolate" i only see the sweet things. That's why, it's hard for me to move on. But then i think about what he did to me, and found out who he is, behind the screen..... XD well, i guess he's only a dark chocolate? Even though he got that "chocolate" label on him, but still he's "dark". Deep inside him, he has nothing but confusion.

I don't know if i'm totally moving on. But i just don't seem to care about everything. I wanted to start a new life. Yeah, mainstream but... That's all i want to do. If he can be a chocolate, why can't i be the flame? Or sugar? Not everyone will love chocolate if it isn't sweet. And i can easily melt him (as a flame) and leave him there helpless. *laughs* It's almost 2 a.m so... that's what is in my brain.
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Monday, December 31, 2012

The Last Day of '12

Hi lucky people who read this post! Right right! You're lucky cause you have been through this whole year and spend your time browsing in internet! n_n What did you got in 2012? A lot of things? None? Okay. Let me share my achievements and all failures in 2012 (as i remember). I set some goals to be achieved in 2012, but i only remember few things that I've got, and lot of things remain hanging on my wonder world. I worked really hard to change to be a better person than before. It needs a lot of fights and tears lol being dramatic again. You know? One of my biggest goal that I achieved in 2012 was meeting my idols. I couldn't believe it! From hundreds, well thousands fans, my name was in the list of people who could hi-5 them. It was a lucky draw, so you can imagine how lucky i was. There was no distance between us, it was an impossible thing for me, but i tried so hard, planned what i wanted to do, and also prayed hard to God. It had always been my dream, to meet them. Everyone, even my closest person said that i should stop dreaming about it. It won't be happened in my life. I was thinking, "I guess they are right, I should stop, I don't have to go to the concert, i don't have to save my money for concert and things." But, how if i stop? How if I stop believing, trying, and dreaming? I would never been able to achieved my goal. I would never been able to touched my idols, to talked with them and let them listened, to told them how much i love them. It was hard because Korean idols are rarely come to Indonesia, and if they come, the possibilities to meet/talk/touch them is 1:10000000. See? I need to be that crazy to achieve what i want. And i have to believe in it, i need to created a deep and big faith in my heart that i can do that, i can make it real! And with a help from God, everything was so easy for me. My dream came true, and even in the concert, one of them threw a souvenir and i could catch it, it was possible among the impossibilities if you know what i mean. That was the biggest thing in 2012 for me, a week after my birthday, can you imagine how blessed i was? And you guys, never give up! Someone like me, who totally not a religious person, or implicitly kind, still can get what i want. But you have to work hard on it. And pray! Because no matter how hard you work but you don't pray, you won't have it or vice versa. And what about my failures? lol. The biggest failure in 2012 for me was...... having no lover hahaha. Yeah, i set my goal to find someone who could love me, and i love the person back. Well i met someone but.. It's all ended and i seemed to be trapped here in the past so.... okay. Hahaha. But well, as i learnt from my achievement, i should've just worked on it harder, pray harder for.....a lover XD cause, i don't really care about it actually, i believe that, out there, God has prepared someone for me. And i'm still trying to move on. Well, I'm just hoping that in 2013 my biggest failure will be my biggest achievement, and i can achieve more goals and be a better person. Keep dreaming and run for it! I believe that is no such thing as impossible! <3 p="p">
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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Confuse Raindrop

I can hear raindrops falling outside my house. They are more confuse than me so they decided to find something else and crashed their selves to the ground. Then they found another confuse raindrops, gathered, making a group of water and play around. They search for a better place, a place that they can find another confuse raindrops. They don't fight for places but they just gather. They understand that they will say goodbye so soon as the sun comes. Separate them again, and again. They don't know where to go, and where they will gather again. These confuse raindrops may not meet their old friends. They are gone. They filled up another place, shared their experience on their own journeys. Some of those confuse raindrops turned into a very cold cube. Very very cold you can't even feel the warmth of your skin. They are tired, very tired to adapt to another place, to find another confuse raindrops. They gave up their freedom and frozen. That confuse raindrops which turn into cold cube can stand alone for years, but.... Sun will always be there to change their mind. Slowly melt the cold down, persuade the confuse raindrop to be exactly who it is. Accompany the confuse raindrop until its fully change into what it used to be. Then the journey started again. But, the confuse raindrop was shocked with what it see.... Some of its friends turn to be a very dark water, stinky, and some of its friends flow beautifully in the river. The confuse raindrop feel so lucky that it can choose what it wanted to be. The confuse raindrop then talked to God. Said that it don't want to be confuse anymore, said that it want to be shown a way to a safe place. But then God sent it to cloud. The confuse raindrop wondering why. It grumbled all the times and then the rain is falling again. The confuse raindrop fell to a very quiet forest. Another confuse raindrops welcomed him warmly. It was a lake in the middle of the forest. "This is not my destination" It said. But then it looked around, looked at its friends and all of them are happy. Then it thanked God. If it stick to its plan and never talk to God then it will never be here. The confuse raindrop is no longer confuse. It so happy. Beat the negativity out of its thoughts.
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Welcoming Dawn

The rooster crows already, I realized that I haven't sleep since last night. I was busy doing my assignment and I'm actually not feeling good lately. I'm not going to talk about Breaking Dawn even though it was a very good movie. But I have some thoughts that popped up and my head disturbed by it. This year I have faced a lot of things, made me think what is my purpose in life? Wherever I go, I see my pain. Whatever I do, it reminds me of pain. Why do I live in pain? I don't know..... Sometimes, I want to be someone else, or okay... Just be me, but an evil person of me. Someone who is heartless. I always give 110% of me to people I love but they don't even notice it. I don't want to be a sorrowful person, but all I've been through just make me as one. I tried to be happy but then something just took it off. Is God preparing something big for me? That I have to suffer like this for years? I want people to understand me. I've been changing and trying to be a better person but everyone stuck in the past. I just want an eternal love everybody has for me. Share it all day and make peace all around. Even though life is hard for me, but then a little love can erase so much pains I have. But then, I haven't found it yet. A kind of love that only one person have. Still hiding behind endless story which haven't been created yet.
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Friday, August 31, 2012

#3

I am now listening to some songs. Really good songs.... After that emotional post, i need something to calm me down...yeah :/ Anyway, you guys must listen to Pixie Lott's "Dancing On My Own" I listened to GDTOP's version. I read the lyrics and they said it was featuring someone else... This is such a good song, and i think it really fits on this situation. hahaha. My friends said, almost every songs i listened, are 'really me' lol. My life is soooooooo complicated. I often think if i am too dramatic. But, there's only one way that i will stop being like this. Die. Yeah die ;/ How can someone expect that life can't be dramatic? Or less dramatic? Started from when you were born, you made people cried in happiness, or laugh and else. Part of drama, yeah? Oh damn you hate me saying this, is drama too. That's why if you want to stop being dramatic, die. >.> lol. School will be started very soon. Oh gosh that heat.... that cold....... that professor........ Just think about them makes me tired already. Plus, i got this big big big and heavy heavy heart. lol what should i do....... It's actually fun writing here.... When no one else reading, or maybe just some people who accidentally click this link read this. But i feel a little bit light spilling out everything. I love talking in twitter, but some dramatic-act-nondramatic people are so noisy if their timeline got clogged up by me so... i better talk here. Even though i will still spamming their timeline....... idec hahaha. AGGGGGGGGGGGGH. Hahahaha i really really wanna scream out loud swearing at everything but no i cant! My friends said i am too stupid, and too kind to people. WHYYYYYYY. I meant.... I don't need to be bad to other people... Like.. there's no advantages for me... But still people are so mean...... tsktsktsk. Gosh this is so random, sorry T^T
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Thursday, August 30, 2012

#2

So.... i'm here. I'm feeling emotional right now. I feel so sad, angry, at the same time. Getting tired of ranting out in Twitter because i don't want to spam people's timeline. And i guess i can spill it out here. Have you ever love someone? when you never stop thinking about that person, and even when you sleep you dream about him/her? Well yes i do... Or i did. I am not really sure. I'm feeling so dumb right now. I fell so hard to a person. We were in love. Maybe? Or were you just had fun with me? You are the one that i care so much. I am waiting for you, and i cried almost every night. Hoped that when you come around we'll be in love again, just like we first met. Talking about whatever happened in the past. How we shared our silliness together. How we talked randomly and laugh together. i thought we will be like that. I prayed to God every day just to make you come back. Because i want to talk to you so badly. And yes, You are back, we talked. But everything changed. You're very different. I don't know you anymore. And the most hurting part, you treat me like a stranger. I dont know that love can cause so much pain..... And finally seeing you with someone else. Don't deny it cause it's too obvious. It is really hurting when i saw you with that person and you act like i dont exist. Even when i talk to you. Should i count how much pains that you caused? i guess i will never be able to do that. But, in the other side, remembering you, and your cheerful energy makes me forget how painful everything. I don't meant to be very dramatic. But really... This is how i feel. You've changed me. Then you dumped me. But now, i don't know if i should love you or let you go. I am not a second option to anyone you know? You loved someone else, you love being with that person.. Go ahead. Wishing you the best, maybe? ;) And i'm here wishing myself to forget you. To have someone better than you. To have someone who really wants my heart and my love. Just so you know, there's a lot of guys that i ignore just for you. Maybe i was wrong. Hahahahahahahahahahaha There's a rainbow after rain, right? There's a love after pain. For now, i will try to not think about you, to think about someone else. I lovED you.
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Monday, October 17, 2011

-clears throat-

Aloha, Hello, Annyeong lool
I love to cover songs.... I've been stop covering for a while, but now i made the new one... Just wanna share it tho' kkkk~

http://www.box.net/shared/phsvsvt91hx729ua297r

Anyway, it's Lonely from our divas 2NE1!!!

enjoy! <3 <3 <3
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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

5 years later i will...................

At 1:40 pm, 21 September 2016

I will be in a restaurant, with my children and my husband Hwang Chansung. LOL
Just pick my baby from her grandma's house. And, i'm having a break from my office.
I'm working as a detective. Or something like.... Have you watch Criminal Minds? I really wanna work like that.
And then, my husband takin his days off from singing with 2pm. Lol
Beside it, sometimes i sing with my husband. We are famous enough, because my husband is a boyband member. We are really happy and can buy anything we want. We have house in Indonesia and Korea.
After that, my husband take my daughter home, and i go back to the office til 7 pm.
Then, i have quality time together in home with my little family.


Hahaha. Everyone who read this, may think that im delusional, crazy, and stuff. But, this is one of my task. And also become my hope and my goal. I love this task, cause i can imagine the day that i want the most. So, this is one of my day. Which i hope will come true, 5 years later, 1:40 pm, 21 September 2016


The Commitment.....

There's nothing that i have to do except Work Hard. Yeah, in every part of my life, if i wanna be in that restaurant with peoples i love at that time, on september 21st, I should work hard. Even though i will find so many problems while im walking through the times, i have to be strong. Because, we can't have what we want without struggling hard. And you know, that this hope seems like too impossible to be true. But, it's okay to try, right? Cause, love will lead you to the place you want to rest your life forever. And, working hard for your dreams, will bring you to the endless happiness <3
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Saturday, September 24, 2011

Letter to oppa

Dear 2PM oppa.........

Oppa, i cant wait to hear the news that you landed in my country Indonesia. I can't wait to see the pictures that show us you are in Indonesia. I can't wait to hear about you eat Indonesian foods. Oppa, you know? There are so many hottests that cannot watch your concert on November 11th, 2011. But oppa, we love you so much. Even though we cant cheer for you that night, we will still here supporting you and pray for you.
Sometimes, i feel like stop thinking about all of you. But, i cant. Because everytime i see you, listen to your song, i feel strong. I feel that you are here with me when im sad, when im angry and always say "Sun, everything will be alright" When i wake up from my sleep, something that cross in my mind for the first time is 2PM. Are 2PM oppas alright? I don't know if it's just my feeling or what. But i saw you, Hwang Chansung oppa, you are getting thinner. Did you eat well? :(
And oppa, i can't wait to see you. I don't know where, when, and how. But i have to believe, that i could. Hwaiting oppa! Hottest will always be here for you! I still hope to be there, scream, cheer, sing with you and other. But i cant. I know you wont care about this, but... At least i shouldn't have to write this letter with tears on it. Saranghae 2PM oppa! <3 <3 <3
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Hopeless romantic,Easily attached, Crazy, Cover this :( with :) , Extremely emotional, grumble a lot, Sing like eat and Eat like sing, never count her breathes, Loving Ventolin since kid.

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