Welcoming Dawn

The rooster crows already, I realized that I haven't sleep since last night. I was busy doing my assignment and I'm actually not feeling good lately. I'm not going to talk about Breaking Dawn even though it was a very good movie. But I have some thoughts that popped up and my head disturbed by it. This year I have faced a lot of things, made me think what is my purpose in life? Wherever I go, I see my pain. Whatever I do, it reminds me of pain. Why do I live in pain? I don't know..... Sometimes, I want to be someone else, or okay... Just be me, but an evil person of me. Someone who is heartless. I always give 110% of me to people I love but they don't even notice it. I don't want to be a sorrowful person, but all I've been through just make me as one. I tried to be happy but then something just took it off. Is God preparing something big for me? That I have to suffer like this for years? I want people to understand me. I've been changing and trying to be a better person but everyone stuck in the past. I just want an eternal love everybody has for me. Share it all day and make peace all around. Even though life is hard for me, but then a little love can erase so much pains I have. But then, I haven't found it yet. A kind of love that only one person have. Still hiding behind endless story which haven't been created yet.