Something Before Sleep

Almost midnight. Head is already full with a lot of things like... Cross-cultural psychology, journalistic psychology, and experimental in psychology. Plus, i need to finish lot of tasks which.... eung, you know... Who likes it? None? Ha-ha. I might 'like' it. Oh... Yes. Being fake is extremely easy. Well, in a time like this, sometimes there's a part in my brain which is recalling some moments in my life. Looking at lots of people around me. They are perfect, in many aspects. They can talk, spill what's on their mind, understand things well.. Very easy. I do feel jealous and uneasy about that. I mean.. Compare to me... I'm a Silver Queen while they are Godiva. Sometimes i feel useless as a person, what i know is.. I can't do things right. I can't speak my mind, and i can't be like them. Hey, i really wanted to be like them to be honest. Know what to say, know what to do, know their own selves. I tried to be, but in the process, i forgot that i wasn't being me. I tried to be someone else. I wasn't me. Then what's life if everyone's the same? If there's no one like me? What life will be? Now it's that war again, heart and brain can't stop fighting. But okay, can i rely on throat then? Since it's between brain and heart? Hahaha okay i'll stop the lame joke. I need to stop to think that everybody is better than me. Not that i am better than them, but it's all about how to be a better me. Despite the flaws and all, there's a good in me. I need to be me. To be proud of myself that's why i shall stop wanting to be like this or that. Allah created me for a reason, i may complete the world just the way i am. I don't have to be someone else, i guess. I just need a lot of times to be a better person, in many kind of aspects. I will never be perfect, and there will be a time that i want to be someone else again but now i just want to live my life happily. Like everyone else in the world, I was made for a reason.