The Confuse Raindrop

I can hear raindrops falling outside my house. They are more confuse than me so they decided to find something else and crashed their selves to the ground. Then they found another confuse raindrops, gathered, making a group of water and play around. They search for a better place, a place that they can find another confuse raindrops. They don't fight for places but they just gather. They understand that they will say goodbye so soon as the sun comes. Separate them again, and again. They don't know where to go, and where they will gather again. These confuse raindrops may not meet their old friends. They are gone. They filled up another place, shared their experience on their own journeys. Some of those confuse raindrops turned into a very cold cube. Very very cold you can't even feel the warmth of your skin. They are tired, very tired to adapt to another place, to find another confuse raindrops. They gave up their freedom and frozen. That confuse raindrops which turn into cold cube can stand alone for years, but.... Sun will always be there to change their mind. Slowly melt the cold down, persuade the confuse raindrop to be exactly who it is. Accompany the confuse raindrop until its fully change into what it used to be. Then the journey started again. But, the confuse raindrop was shocked with what it see.... Some of its friends turn to be a very dark water, stinky, and some of its friends flow beautifully in the river. The confuse raindrop feel so lucky that it can choose what it wanted to be. The confuse raindrop then talked to God. Said that it don't want to be confuse anymore, said that it want to be shown a way to a safe place. But then God sent it to cloud. The confuse raindrop wondering why. It grumbled all the times and then the rain is falling again. The confuse raindrop fell to a very quiet forest. Another confuse raindrops welcomed him warmly. It was a lake in the middle of the forest. "This is not my destination" It said. But then it looked around, looked at its friends and all of them are happy. Then it thanked God. If it stick to its plan and never talk to God then it will never be here. The confuse raindrop is no longer confuse. It so happy. Beat the negativity out of its thoughts.

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Welcoming Dawn

The rooster crows already, I realized that I haven't sleep since last night. I was busy doing my assignment and I'm actually not feeling good lately. I'm not going to talk about Breaking Dawn even though it was a very good movie. But I have some thoughts that popped up and my head disturbed by it. This year I have faced a lot of things, made me think what is my purpose in life? Wherever I go, I see my pain. Whatever I do, it reminds me of pain. Why do I live in pain? I don't know..... Sometimes, I want to be someone else, or okay... Just be me, but an evil person of me. Someone who is heartless. I always give 110% of me to people I love but they don't even notice it. I don't want to be a sorrowful person, but all I've been through just make me as one. I tried to be happy but then something just took it off. Is God preparing something big for me? That I have to suffer like this for years? I want people to understand me. I've been changing and trying to be a better person but everyone stuck in the past. I just want an eternal love everybody has for me. Share it all day and make peace all around. Even though life is hard for me, but then a little love can erase so much pains I have. But then, I haven't found it yet. A kind of love that only one person have. Still hiding behind endless story which haven't been created yet.

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#3

I am now listening to some songs. Really good songs.... After that emotional post, i need something to calm me down...yeah :/ Anyway, you guys must listen to Pixie Lott's "Dancing On My Own" I listened to GDTOP's version. I read the lyrics and they said it was featuring someone else... This is such a good song, and i think it really fits on this situation. hahaha. My friends said, almost every songs i listened, are 'really me' lol. My life is soooooooo complicated. I often think if i am too dramatic. But, there's only one way that i will stop being like this. Die. Yeah die ;/ How can someone expect that life can't be dramatic? Or less dramatic? Started from when you were born, you made people cried in happiness, or laugh and else. Part of drama, yeah? Oh damn you hate me saying this, is drama too. That's why if you want to stop being dramatic, die. >.> lol. School will be started very soon. Oh gosh that heat.... that cold....... that professor........ Just think about them makes me tired already. Plus, i got this big big big and heavy heavy heart. lol what should i do....... It's actually fun writing here.... When no one else reading, or maybe just some people who accidentally click this link read this. But i feel a little bit light spilling out everything. I love talking in twitter, but some dramatic-act-nondramatic people are so noisy if their timeline got clogged up by me so... i better talk here. Even though i will still spamming their timeline....... idec hahaha. AGGGGGGGGGGGGH. Hahahaha i really really wanna scream out loud swearing at everything but no i cant! My friends said i am too stupid, and too kind to people. WHYYYYYYY. I meant.... I don't need to be bad to other people... Like.. there's no advantages for me... But still people are so mean...... tsktsktsk. Gosh this is so random, sorry T^T

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#2

So.... i'm here. I'm feeling emotional right now. I feel so sad, angry, at the same time. Getting tired of ranting out in Twitter because i don't want to spam people's timeline. And i guess i can spill it out here. Have you ever love someone? when you never stop thinking about that person, and even when you sleep you dream about him/her? Well yes i do... Or i did. I am not really sure. I'm feeling so dumb right now. I fell so hard to a person. We were in love. Maybe? Or were you just had fun with me? You are the one that i care so much. I am waiting for you, and i cried almost every night. Hoped that when you come around we'll be in love again, just like we first met. Talking about whatever happened in the past. How we shared our silliness together. How we talked randomly and laugh together. i thought we will be like that. I prayed to God every day just to make you come back. Because i want to talk to you so badly. And yes, You are back, we talked. But everything changed. You're very different. I don't know you anymore. And the most hurting part, you treat me like a stranger. I dont know that love can cause so much pain..... And finally seeing you with someone else. Don't deny it cause it's too obvious. It is really hurting when i saw you with that person and you act like i dont exist. Even when i talk to you. Should i count how much pains that you caused? i guess i will never be able to do that. But, in the other side, remembering you, and your cheerful energy makes me forget how painful everything. I don't meant to be very dramatic. But really... This is how i feel. You've changed me. Then you dumped me. But now, i don't know if i should love you or let you go. I am not a second option to anyone you know? You loved someone else, you love being with that person.. Go ahead. Wishing you the best, maybe? ;) And i'm here wishing myself to forget you. To have someone better than you. To have someone who really wants my heart and my love. Just so you know, there's a lot of guys that i ignore just for you. Maybe i was wrong. Hahahahahahahahahahaha There's a rainbow after rain, right? There's a love after pain. For now, i will try to not think about you, to think about someone else. I lovED you.

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-clears throat-

Aloha, Hello, Annyeong lool
I love to cover songs.... I've been stop covering for a while, but now i made the new one... Just wanna share it tho' kkkk~

http://www.box.net/shared/phsvsvt91hx729ua297r

Anyway, it's Lonely from our divas 2NE1!!!

enjoy! <3 <3 <3

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5 years later i will...................

At 1:40 pm, 21 September 2016

I will be in a restaurant, with my children and my husband Hwang Chansung. LOL
Just pick my baby from her grandma's house. And, i'm having a break from my office.
I'm working as a detective. Or something like.... Have you watch Criminal Minds? I really wanna work like that.
And then, my husband takin his days off from singing with 2pm. Lol
Beside it, sometimes i sing with my husband. We are famous enough, because my husband is a boyband member. We are really happy and can buy anything we want. We have house in Indonesia and Korea.
After that, my husband take my daughter home, and i go back to the office til 7 pm.
Then, i have quality time together in home with my little family.

Hahaha. Everyone who read this, may think that im delusional, crazy, and stuff. But, this is one of my task. And also become my hope and my goal. I love this task, cause i can imagine the day that i want the most. So, this is one of my day. Which i hope will come true, 5 years later, 1:40 pm, 21 September 2016


The Commitment.....

There's nothing that i have to do except Work Hard. Yeah, in every part of my life, if i wanna be in that restaurant with peoples i love at that time, on september 21st, I should work hard. Even though i will find so many problems while im walking through the times, i have to be strong. Because, we can't have what we want without struggling hard. And you know, that this hope seems like too impossible to be true. But, it's okay to try, right? Cause, love will lead you to the place you want to rest your life forever. And, working hard for your dreams, will bring you to the endless happiness <3

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Letter to oppa

Dear 2PM oppa.........

Oppa, i cant wait to hear the news that you landed in my country Indonesia. I can't wait to see the pictures that show us you are in Indonesia. I can't wait to hear about you eat Indonesian foods. Oppa, you know? There are so many hottests that cannot watch your concert on November 11th, 2011. But oppa, we love you so much. Even though we cant cheer for you that night, we will still here supporting you and pray for you.
Sometimes, i feel like stop thinking about all of you. But, i cant. Because everytime i see you, listen to your song, i feel strong. I feel that you are here with me when im sad, when im angry and always say "Sun, everything will be alright" When i wake up from my sleep, something that cross in my mind for the first time is 2PM. Are 2PM oppas alright? I don't know if it's just my feeling or what. But i saw you, Hwang Chansung oppa, you are getting thinner. Did you eat well? :(
And oppa, i can't wait to see you. I don't know where, when, and how. But i have to believe, that i could. Hwaiting oppa! Hottest will always be here for you! I still hope to be there, scream, cheer, sing with you and other. But i cant. I know you wont care about this, but... At least i shouldn't have to write this letter with tears on it. Saranghae 2PM oppa! <3 <3 <3

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